TV Party for Thursday, June 16th

Tonight we’re going to stretch that guarantee a bit. Why? Because it’s game 4 of the NBA finals, with the Pistons trailing 2 games to 1, and it’s clear that the other networks have given up any hope of taking viewers away from the game. So, for those of you who aren’t basketball fans there’s not much to chose from in the early evening. Case in point, at 8 KING offers up the NWCN 10th Anniversary special. Yes, Northwest Cable News is 10 years old, and now you can look back on the last decade with a half hour of highlights from NWCN’s history. Be there for every Jim Foreman natural disaster report, from the flooded Skagit valley to the snow-swept heights of Queen Anne hill. And don’t forget those other Northwest landmark stories, like the Mary Kay Laturneau trial. And then her release. And her second offense and second imprisonment. And then her second release. And the wedding. Man, this is going to take a lot more than a half hour…

At 8:30 head up to MTV2 for an episode of the greatest Claymation show since Gumby, Celebrity Deathmatch. Tonight’s bouts pit Tommy Lee against Ron Jeremy, Alanis Morrisette against Jewel, and the Three Stooges against the Three Tenors. All fights are to the death, and there will be plenty of clay blood spilled and spines ripped out, so those of you offended by cartoon violence may want to take a bath instead.

At 9:00 you can head back down to KING for another episode of the show that NBC would like to say is sweeping the country, Hit Me Baby One More Time. For those of you not familiar with the formula, it’s the bastard love child of American Idol and Bands Reunited. On tonight’s show Sophie B. Hawkins, Cameo, Wang Chung, Irene Cara and Howard Jones are all called out of retirement and thrown on stage in a contest to see who stinks the least. The winner receives $20,000 for the charity of their choice and another 15 minutes of fame. Losers will be sent immediately back out on the Indian Casino tour. Word Up.

Finally, at 10 click on the Discovery Channel for Greatest American – Top 25 This product of AOL TV is attempting to narrow down a list to find the Greatest American of all time. Tonight, the Top 25, based on votes by viewers who happened to go to the web site. Now, knowing the American TV watching / Internet Surfing public I was very surprised to see that neither Tommy Lee NOR Ron Jeremy were on the list, nor was my #1 pick, Mike Ditka. Making the cut, however, were Oprah, Ben Franklin, Lance Armstrong, Bob Hope, and both George W. and Bill Clinton. Go figure. I think Ditka should demand a recount.